I would like it if the Alf phone changed your voice to sound like Alf. I bet it doesn't do that. If it did, I'd start a business charging people for a telephone call from Alf. I'd make millions! Or maybe I'd start an Alf phone sex line. Sample conversation:

Caller: Oh yeah Alf, touch me there! Keep touching me there!

Alf (me, in reality): No problem!

You can bid on the Alf Phone here.