A while back I posted about a gloriously stupid product called Abs in a Box, which is basically a make-up kit with instructions for how to paint on sculpted abs. In that post, I made up a product called Insta-Cleavage, a pen with which you could magically increase your bustline.

Wow, Natalie! Nice rack!

Well, it turned out to be a prescient joke. They stole my idea, damn it! Introducing...

My Beautiful Breasts

For just $69, you can get a total boob paint job! Don't forget to slather on plenty of Bust Stain to create the desired amount of definition. And don't worry, no matter how wet or sweaty you get – your [painted on] breasts aren’t going anywhere! Because that shit is semi-permanent.

Supposedly, you can also use the kit to make your breasts appear smaller. All of the answers are in the Library of Secrets Manual. Doesn't that sound like a textbook you might be assigned at Hogwarts?

I can't wait for boob cosmetics to really catch on.

Blake Lively experiments with boob clown make-up. Funny and sexy!

I should launch a line of boob clown make-up, complete with clown nose pasties!