It's come to this: makeup for your vag.

My New Pink Button (really!), a genital cosmetic colorant, is sure to cure the very serious condition you never even knew you had: labial uglification. It promises to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia. From the name of it, I think they might also be recommending that you apply some color to that shriveled-up gray raisin you call a clitoris.

The temporary dye comes in four colors: Ginger, Audry, Bettie, and Marilyn. I guess the color you choose to slather all over your ladyjunk should reflect your mood. They cost $29.95 each and include 20 applications. For that price I would suggest just using a tube of good old-fashioned MOUTH lipstick. Then you would have way more colors to choose from, too! However, I would discourage you from using the same lipstick for both your mouth and your labia. In fact, you should probably label which lipsticks are your VAG lipsticks and which are your MOUTH lipsticks. That's what I'm gonna do.

I can't wait for pubic mascara! Idea! I'll just use regular old EYELASH mascara on my pubes!